Post-divorce, you’re in a tricky spot when it comes to planning just about anything. We’ve outlined the key tips to keep in mind when trying to plan extracurricular activities for your children, in the best efforts to not impede upon your ex-spouse’s schedule, while listening to your children and what they want.
If your child is hellbent on a specific activity, the last thing you want to do is deny them that activity based on schedule availability. Remember that they’re enduring the stresses of their parents splitting up, and these activities may be an excellent outlet for them to channel frustration or depression. These activities matter to them, so discuss scheduling with your ex-spouse, and even if a solution cannot be met, try your best to rearrange your schedule to grant this activity to your child. Even if you’re the one picking your children up and dropping them off, you’re being there for them. You’re no longer with your spouse, but your kids will be around forever.
Family law constantly comes down to monetary figures. If you and your spouse were fighting about money before, you’ll still be fighting about it now. Extracurricular activities can be pricey, and when you’re dealing with a split income and finding out how to live on your own again, money is tight. Discuss the costs with your ex-spouse and determine a schedule. Will you each alternate with monthly payments? WIll your split the upfront cost right down the middle? There are logistics to consider, so don’t leave them out of the conversation.
Communication is Everything
Most issues in any aspect of life derive from a lack of communication, or details getting “lost in the translation.” Our best piece of advice is to give a clear outline of what you would like to see in an end result, and list your concerns openly, as opposed to remaining quiet. Even if you believe your ex-spouse to be difficult, clearly listing your intentions and expectations is better than arguing over lost or unspoken details.
Remember this: when you’re discussing details with the ex-spouse, it’s very easy to forget the stakes that your son or daughter has in this. Be certain to ask them how they’re feeling, and what their concerns are throughout the process. You are each an advocate for your child; don’t let that fact get lost in all the noise.
If you’re in the midst of a divorce and trying to find your way through, contact us today to learn how we can help. We put families first for the best possible outcome, and work to find unique solutions for you in Centennial, CO.